One aspect of this opportunity is the request to submit a journal entry to the school regarding my experiences each week. I’ll be sharing those via this blog as well. If I censor portions, I’ll let you know, but I plan to share with you my full truths. Enjoy that! I can’t always share, and won’t always be allowed to. Ask whatever questions you have as a result. Here goes…
In case you missed it…
I went LIVE on Facebook to share with you all the things that I’ve been doing. Most of you are reading and following along, yet you may have missed the point of this all. If you’ve started on the blog, by now, I guess you understand the fact that I’ve relocated. Everything else could be quite blurry, SO!
I visited the Smallest Church in America. I thought this very appropriate considering the journey I am on. Making sense of it all means honoring the expectations of my first church… myself. I must embody fruitful righteousness with(in) me prior to extending that goal and lifestyle to others.
I moved to a space in life where I must find benefit in the casual things… in the breath-taking, time-extending benefits of the journey that God has placed me on.
Years before when I had faced similar tragedies alone, I always found comfort in my suffrage through prayer. Upon arrival back in this space again… well not really arriving, I had been here for years now… back at it again and my passion was dying out of me quickly. I knew no other recourse of action than prayer, so I set out on a journey that frightened me immensely. I took a path that I knew was sure to get me out of my tragedy despite the turmoil of it all. I took a special course of action that I knew came with guaranteed results. Though I did not know what the results would be, I knew I would be happier finding myself over on that side of life versus remaining stuck in the smut I was already in. So! I tried.
I can’t believe it’s been that many years ago since I first started journaling my prayers. I can’t believe it’s been that many years ago since I needed God with an urgency like I did back then. I can’t believe it’s been that many years ago since God changed my life for good.
That Many Years Ago.
It has been that many years ago.
Here I am now, doing it again…
During a heavy prayer session about a month ago, God relayed to me that I have been a stronghold in my relationship.
Let’s just stop here.
That blew my MIND!!!!
I was sooo very thoroughly blown away that I just sat there for a while and wept. My heart was SOOOO broken! Never would I have thought that my own actions (or even lack of action in some cases) were the cause of such MAJOR chaos in my life.
I am learning to be grateful for all that you have blessed me with. I don’t always arrive, but Lord, I am trying.
I am learning to be grateful for all you protect me from, and though I’m not always understanding, Lord, I am trying.
God, I am trying to find rest in all that you have promised, and Lord … you know I’m not the most patient, but Lord, I am trying.
Lord, I doubt myself. I doubt me very often. I doubt my power. I doubt my strength, and even with all my faith in you, somehow I am still banking on me. Somehow I am still “faithing it” on what I bring.
[Be still and KNOW I AM God! 11:45pm]
God, you are amazing. My truth. My strength. My strong tower. You keep me, and for that, I thank you. God, you bless me, and for that, I thank you. You are the lifter of my head, and for that, I love you. Thank you for being amazing, for keeping me, for lifting me up, for loving me.
God, these lessons you have taught have been wonderful and I am truly grateful. You blessed me!
ATTACK the Track!
I was running yesterday thinking about how we sometimes get mentally fatigued… Our bodies and spirits can STILL withstand some “pain”, but mentally, we’ve faded. Attack the Track!
On particular paths, (perhaps a “repeat” path in life (and on a track)], our supposed fatigue is based upon our knowledge of a situation, past experience or future expectation (i.e. we THINK it’s going to be difficult, so… we essentially MAKE it difficult). Attack the Track!
I then thought about how God builds our muscle…. Mountains, valleys, mountain, terrain, valley… He works us OWT so that our responses should be different. We shouldn’t be fatigued by what we’re familiar with. We shouldn’t be fazed by paths we’ve already taken. We shouldn’t mentally expect to be lifeless because our muscle has been built up, which means… we should take our new ENERGIES to new levels!!!
There are entirely too many of us who have come to depending all too much on human confirmation of spiritual information. We are looking for signs and wonders to edify words, direction and promises that we have personally been given by God. Why does God have to continually prove himself to you for you to make a decision OR for you to take the first step when the fact that you even had the thought in the first place—as directed by Him—is ENOUGH! Since when does God have to “confirm” what He already sent?
“THUS saith The LORD!”
“And it IS written…”